Josslyn
by ellethefanfictioner
Summary: I thought it would be cool if the Braxtons had a sister to show there softer sides ... so i made one. Hey, thx for all the positive comments they are so motivating ! I am back now an will hopefully be able to upload a new chapter almost everyother day work permitting. Please leave a comment or a suggestion for my story it would be much appreciated. ENJOY :D
1. An Unexpected Letter

I came in from work slamming the door behind me. No one was home. Good. I couldn't deal with anymore problems not now after Natalie. She meant the world to me after Charlie she made me feel safe and comforted she lifted the guilt while it lasted. I couldn't bear the responsibility of my brothers anymore; it would be pleasant just to be alone. I threw my keys onto the side and sat down at the table rifling through the mail. I wasn't really paying attention to what the letters said, I was looking at my phone, until I noticed a formal white letter addressed to Heath. I didn't really think anything by it until I saw the return address: our lawyers. I dropped my phone and hurriedly opened the envelope. I would have to be the one to deal with the case anyway, pay the bail money etc. What had he done? As soon as I read the first line I sat in guilty reminiscence until in the confusion of my head cleared to the only resolution I could think of and with that through firmly in my mind charged out of the house.

I saw Heath sitting on the fence overlooking the sea. Clouds began to gather above the bay. He saw me come towards him holding up the letter in my hand.

'Heya Brax what's up'?

He looked surprised as I pushed him off the fence and onto the grass below. He looked up at me startled.

'What was that for?'

'What's this?'

'Nothing, I don't have time to go through it now.' he said looking away from my stern gaze to the ground.

'No we will go through this now!'

'Brax please?' He looked like he didn't want to talk. This was typical Heath. He would bottle things up until they got out of his control and then dump them on me; not this time, not when it concerned dad.

'No, no. We're not playing happy families with this dog. How could you do this?'

'Because he's family.' he exclaimed getting to his feet.

'Family, do you not remember who raised you?'

'Yer, I remember, but he's still our dad.'

'Dad, He was never a dad to you not ever.'

'And you were?'

'I was more of a dad to you and Case than he ever was.'

'Because we never gave him a second chance.'

'A second chance I can't listen to this.'

'Well you were the one that wanted to talk.' He looked away as if ashamed by what he had said. He should have been; I grabbed him with my fist by the scruff of his shirt.

'I do, but about an explanation that makes sense this, this is bull shit.' He pulled away scowling and we stood in silence breathing heavily in the heat of the moment both thinking about what to say. His face sank into a thoughtful stare. He looked up.

'Did you ever think that if dad is inside where joss could be?'

'Is that what this is about?' I had suspected this at the house when I first saw the letter; I didn't want to talk about it but kept quiet hoping Heath wouldn't go into too much depth.

'Well did you not even consider it?' He kept persisting. The memories flooded back I didn't want them there I had buried them alone time ago. They were too painful. I flipped.

'Where do you think she is heath? Huh. His face shortly filled with hope and longing suddenly darkened at my sharp words. 'We haven't heard anything from her in six years. Dad was arrested for man slaughter. She's dead Heath.' Realising how I must have sounded I sank back into my thoughts and then putting my rage to rest: 'She's dead.'

'How do you know that? We got nothing from the lawyer to even suggest that he killed her even if she's dead…?'

'But we haven't heard anything from her either.'

I could see he was getting the way he was getting frustrated at the way I was challenging his every thought.

'And why might that be huh Brax?'

'No don't go into this now.' He was seeing through me.

'No, no you wanted to talk about this.'

'I wanted to talk about dad not this we are not bringing up joss not now'

'And why not? The only reason we don't talk about her is because you feel too guilty about what happened to want to remember.'

But why was this relevant? What had dad said or done to bring this up?

'So why are you bringing this up now? Why not three years ago when dad got in touch. Why do you want him out now?'

He screwed up his face in an attempt not to answer me but forced himself to calm down. He knew he would need my help eventually.

'Because he said something about her.'

'So he said he'd tell you if you got him out? Am I right, Heath?' The old man was playing us; he had to be 'Heath am I right?'

'Yes!' I could not believe this, he hadn't changed a bit. 'Brax, wouldn't you do the same if you thought she was alive.'

'It's been six years.'

'So she'd be fifteen, that's old enough to remember, that's old enough Brax for her to want to get to know us again, to come home.'

He was being played with false hope 'Old enough to get in contact with us herself.'

'Just because she's not got in contact with us doesn't mean anything we don't know her situation or if she can get in touch.'

Heath had won. I quickly changed the subject.

'I don't want you even go back and see the old man, he's not worth the effort.'

'But Brax what about Joss…'

'What about her Heath? Even if she was alive there would be nothing we can do.'

'You can't tell me what to do anymore, Brax, I'm not dependant on you anymore.'

'No I can't but I won't be any part of this. If you want to waste your time then fine, go ahead I won't stop you but I won't be around to help when it blows up in your face.'

I through the letter open at his feet and giving him one last disappointed look I stalked home in the oncoming rain.


	2. The Raid

It was dark as Kyle and I sat behind the shop. We were sat on the floor the dust and dirt dancing in little breezes around our feet. Leaning against the wall i tucked my legs up hung my arms over them and buried my head a common, ritual before a job; it gave me time to think things through. Dad wasn't with us this time; it wasn't unusual so we weren't worried, we needed to do this even of he wasn't there to help. They would be closing soon. Kyle knew, he had been watching the shop every evening for about two weeks observing from afar as people came and went oblivious to the dark shadow that hung over their every move. It was more of a bar than a shop with a large oak bar that jutted out from the wall seating about 20. It was a mate's but that didn't matter it had something dad wanted. Firearms. He needed the weapons for job, he never really told us much more than that and we never asked I especially knew better than to get too deep into dads business. Dads temper was scary, out of control might be a better word, destroying anything or anyone in his path including me and Kyle. Kyle and I sat at the rear of the bricked building. Waiting. He was smoking and I was sat next to him staring at the ground waiting for him to give the signal. We rarely talked at this time having previously been through the plan but he could see from my constant fidgeting that something was up.

"You ok?"

"Yer,why?"

"You seem a bit on edge."

"Why would I be it's exactly the same as last weeks."

"They're bigger though and this is only your fifth." He threw his cigarette over the barbed wire fence. "I didn't get used to it till..."

"Just shut up Kyle." I playfully kicked his leg. "I'm fine. Hey you got another?" I said to him nodding to the pack in his hand.

"Yer here." He passed me a cigarette and whipping out a lighter from my pocked I hid the flame in my hand and sucking in the sweet air the toxic fumes filled my lungs. I exhaled; it was soothing

"Better?"

I nodded.

We sat there in silence listening closely to the sound of individuals clearing up. They took their time but we weren't worried this was a usual routine for them and we had all night. We didn't move until we heard the key turn in the lock; then we sprang into action. Kyle chucked me the ruck sack, that had been sat sagging at his feet, and smashing the lock on the back door kicked his way in. I followed in hot persist but upon entering the bar we parted our separate ways. Kyle knew exactly what he was doing having been out with dad and he boys but dad seldom let me help out but Kyle was cool he made me just one of the guys and if missed that since being with Brax. Kyle made me feel accepted again even though this was a dirty way to go about it was fulfilling. Kyle was good at this knowing the exact route to the safe; he had planned this through observing each detail of the joint so now he could find the weapons and run. My job was simple, stay out of the way and get as much cash and booze as possible. Going out with Kyle gave me a rush a surge of adrenalin nothing was better than knowing after this we would go home and get pissed. I paused behind the cash register and dragged it off the table in front of me it landed at me feet with an echoing bang and the small metal tray sprang open. I sat crossed legged by the box taking my time as i counted the crumpled money into the black bag savouring each number as they satisfyingly increased. I could here distant sound Kyle made as he broke into the safe in the background bouncing off the low ceilings and uneven white washed walls. We had stolen about 10000 quid from todays raid alone, it was so stupid of them to leave so much cash lying around i said to my self and silently laughed as i picked myself up and zipped up the bag. This bit was important now; a ritual i was very familiar with. I swept the odd glasses off the bar and they splintered on the polished wood floor as I laid out a cloth. Kyle ran over with two guns balanced in his hands like weights and placing them on the cloth I began to wipe them down. Kyle opened the rucksack already stuffed with cash and I slipped them in on top. The shop was trashed: chairs and tables overturned, the cash register open and empty and the booze cupboard smashed just the way dad liked it; he would be proud. The crunch of the money as the guns pushed them down sound to my like a round of applause. He looked at me expectantly as I slung the bag over my shoulders then with a cheeky grin and Kyle beside me, I padded swiftly like a panther into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't go back home instead, i drove amid the pouring rain to the woods outside town where I used to take casey and heath to just be away. I needed this time to think now. I pulled the jeep up outside in the soggy mess of mud and moss. Was I even allowed to take the car in this far? I didn't care. I sat in silence only broken by the rain breaking into pieces on the car bonnet. Starring at it the droplets beginning to merge together i put a hand to my face I realising that my blurred vision was not the rain but my own tears. I never cried, but it was too much for me to take in.

I could never look that man in the eye again after what he put us through. His eyes the dad he finally left so fierce and unfeeling without a glimmer of emotion only enhanced my fear for joss and now heath. After everything that happened that day and days before how could he forgive and forget. I sat unmoving in my troubles wishing Charlie was here to tell me what to do to hold me but thinking of her only made it worse bringing up bad memories of another innocent person that my life had hurt. That was what the guilt was. I couldn't face remembering without recalling how I had failed her as a protecter and joss as an older brother. It had been my job to look after her that day. Mum was out god knows where and I had taken casey to the beach after dad had thrown fists. He had had no idea mum had been out and I had had no idea dad would have even come back. I punched the steering wheel and the car alarm went off almost awaking me from my thoughts.

Anger surged from with in me. I got out of the screaming car and slammed the door shut. The rain soaked through my shirt chilling my skin but I didn't care I trudged on through the trees. Their rustling almost reminded me of her sweet laughter. How long ago had it been. Almost six years now. She would be almost fifteen if she was alive. I tried not to think about that but everyday the thought troubled my mind. Dad had been a scary man very tall and muscular with the kind of tanned hard skin that gave anyone the impression he had had a roughy life and the tattoo of all or nothing to explain why; he was not one to be gentle. He never was with mum, heath or myself. I would not have been surprised of he had hurt her or even killed her. I knew to well the torture he put us through, the constant rage and abuse. He would not have been anymore lenient with joss because of her gender or age. She had only been nine and to this day I could still hear her screams of terror and pain as he punched and forced her into the back of his car. I had watched on helpless to save her.

I closed my eyes and attacked my head wishing no praying for the voices and memories to go away but they wouldn't and they came on down my face in tears of anguish. I cradled myself at the stump of a tree closing my eyes tightly thinking of Charlie. I could see her beautiful face if I closed my eyes and squeezing my arm I imagined I could feel the softness and warmth of her skin and sat in the wilderness during the night with only my thoughts for company.


	4. Chapter 4

Heath came back late. It was dark probably about nine but I'd had to sit up with Darcy; He hasn't been around all day and he hadn't told me where he had gone he just left me with Darce with out a word to me or even telling her where he was going. This struck me as odd because heath was very responsible when it came to Darcy. Granted he was almost always big headed pig only thinking of himself but he had started to use his head and now he had just turned that all around out of the blue.

I was sitting in the living room staring into nothing thinking about Joss actually. Ever since heath had brought up dad and her i couldn't get it out of my head and it kept going round. The worst part was was that I couldn't share it with casey or even Natalie but I had to keep it to myself which made the thoughts burn inside of me. Almost oblivious to the sounds of casey and Darce laughing as they nudged each other on the race track hearing the door click I looked up as he came in, Case and Darce were engrossed in their video game so I stood up beaconing him into the kitchen with the hope that we might not be heard. He reluctantly strolled up which only infuriated me even more. I looked him up and down.

He was wearing the usual loose strappy vest and baggy board shorts but the untidy grey jacket told me that he had been further than just the bay. He had a little smug grin on his face as well that I was itching to wipe away. How could he look to proud of himself having dumped his kid on me and leaving without a word. He began to make himself some coffee but I Ali the cup away.

'Oy!' He exclaimed.

'Where have you been? You worried me and scared Darce half to death.' I whispered but the horse tone of my voice made it clear to heath that I was pissed off. I was glad.

'I'm sorry but dads lawyer called me to say-'.

'I don't want to know.' I said turning away beginning to collect plates of the table from dinner.

'Well you might be more interested to listen cause dads coming home next week.'

'What!' I yelled forgetting to whisper. Darce and Case looked up briefly from their game. We hadn't told them about, more my idea than heaths who for some reason wanted to profess his new belief in dads apparent personality change to the world, but personally I hoped case and Darce would never find out and I was disgusted of the idea of letting that man back into our home.

'Home, this isn't his home; he's not saying here.'

'Brax come on he has no where else to go.'

'Well that's his problem.'

'But he's your father mate.'

'He might be my father heath but he sure as hell is not my dad. I didn't ask you to get him out I don't want to give him a second chance. He kidnapped joss heath how can you see past that.'

I don't see how you can't. Shes been gone six years now and you don't want to see past it because you feel guilty, you don't want to see him because it will bring it all up again. See I've got it haven't i and Brax it was your fault anyway.

I punched him. It was such a quick fire response to the sudden rush of anger inside. I'd had this ache in my heart since the day she was taken from me but it had never gone it just lingered in the back if my mine resurfacing when I was alone. Every night I would lye in the dark and picture her red frustrated face as she struggled frantically with the car locks and her eyes overflowing with tears so wide and frightened started straight into mine trying i desperately to convey her pain.

The one image I could never un-see was her sweaty red hands pressed and pushing and pushing on the back window to get out as the car sped away. Her face tearstained and terrified haunted my conscious because it was my fault and until now no one had said it to my face harshly reassuring my reason for guilt.

Case jumped up having been watching the heated discussion in the kitchen with one eye occasionally looking up.

'Hey hey brax get off him.' he exclaimed pulling me back. He seemed shocked

'What the hell.'

'Dad?' Darcy's inquisitive and slightly freaked out face peaked I've the top of the armchair.

'Darce it's fine'.

'I've had enough of this' I muttered beginning to walk out.

'Enough of what? Casey looked confused.

A sudden smirk from heath told me he had had an idea. 'Oh do you want me to tell case.' The cheek in his voice made me want to smack him again.

'Tell me what?' Casey's voice was innocently inquisitive.

'Nothing.' I barked

'No seriously.'

Heath was dropping hints waiting fir me to snap. 'About dad'

'You dare. Case go sit with Darce.'

'No tell me'

'Another day'

'I think he deserves to know'

My anger surged and then fell heath could see my fists going red as I held in my frustration but then it fell. I didn't care.

'Fine fine then heath you tell him but I want no part in any of this and I'm warning you casey don't do this don't get involved with that dog because he he well you remember how he was don't you and it doesn't matter what he or heath says he hasn't changed a bit and he's not staying here.'

I stormed towards the front door gripping it and swinging it open.

'Where you going?' Asked casey still confused at how quickly the situation had escalated and ended still having no idea what it was about.

'Out.'

The door slammed shut.


	5. Chapter 5

Kyle and I came back home flustered. The run back to the flat was long and took strength to endure so, because it was my first time I was exhausted. As soon as the door was closed and our loot safely inside I pulled down my hood revealing my long brunet curls.

They were sweaty and tangles so I ran my hands through its body; the feeling was comforting and helped me adjust to what I had just done. I was shaking. Looking at my hands I couldn't tell but as I leant on the wall catching my breath it felt uneasy. I was surprised.

Kyle had come into the shady room and merely taking off his jacket flicked on the TV as if it was just a day in the life. Why did I feel like this? I had done everything exactly as Kyle had done. Coming out of the alcove of the doorway of out tiny flat I sat on the arm of his chair and looked down to him.

'I think dad was right this isn't for me.'

'Why do you say that?' Kyle's eyes barely moved engrossed in the screen.

'Well I don't know how to feel. You've just come in here and you're sitting in your chair watching the footy as if it was just another evening. I didn't really do much and I feel like a wreck.'

He sat still as if he was thinking, for a while i didn't know if he'd heard me or not so I just looked at him in anticipation for a reply.

'It's just because it's your first proper job. I know you've done small things with dad assisting him with deliveries but this was bigger. You don't regret it do you? You know why it was so important?'

'Yeah. But I can't help feel bad for dan.'

Kyle's face didn't flinch or show an expression of any kind so I continued uncertain of whether he understood me.

!I mean he's done so much for us and we literally ruined his livelihood. '

'Do you understand why we did it?'

'To get the weapons back.'

'Exactly, dad explained that if dan shows those guns to the police which he threatened to do he would be able to extend his sentence.

Seriously you were brilliant.'

'Really?'

'Yeah sure the way you wiped those guns. I didn't tell you to do that.'

'Well I had to when I was with dad.'

'On the road?'

'Yeah.'

Hey don't look so worried you did great come here.'

I slipped off the arm of the chair and onto the padded space where he had been sitting. He put an arm around me and I nudged myself into it feeling his warm chest rise and fall beneath me.

'How long could that evidence keep him in there for?'

'Life.'

'But why does it even matter he barely noticed me when he was here.'

'Joss.' He looked at me shamefully and I pulled away from him.

'But it's true.' I argued back not afraid to disagree with him.

'It might be but he's the one who brought you away from the boys remember'

'Well actually no I don't. I don't remember anyone hurting me back then I do now. Dad was a violent drunk and I doubt five years in jail has changed any of that. It feels like you and me are only here as puppets to do jobs for people who may or may not be able to get dad out.'

I worked myself up just thinking about dad. How could Kyle defend him after all he had done to us? I got up turning my back to his confused face and I left him watching the telly. If I was pissed he knew better than to try and fix it guess soon even if he really didn't understand why. I guess I got that from my dad.

It didn't really matter if he was free or not; it made no difference to me. For me Kyle was the one and only person I fully remember raising me. I had vague memories of tax and the boys and I thought of them some times but I couldn't remember where they were or who they were for that matter people change that for me was evident.

Kyle saw dad differently though. Dad had raised him when his mother couldn't and taught him the business. Dad had taken Kyle out on the job since he was younger than me but I wasn't trusted with anything and even if I was he wouldn't have paid me any attention. My dad didn't love me that was the fact of the matter. I can remember being taken away by him the pain the constant emptiness where my family had been haunted me to this day but I'd always been told by dad that they didn't want me and he did he could look after me. If he was the one that wanted me how could he treat me as if I wasn't even his.

Before dad was taken away I could remember sitting with him and Kyle in the cell at the local station before they took him away. He was dressed in the same clothes from two days before, tired and dirty.

I just there while he and Kyle talked about arrangements for the business and how dad could stay involved from the inside. They talked for what seemed like hours on the edge of dads cot but I wasn't any concern. I wouldn't be doing my only guardian for more than ten years and he didn't have it in him to say goodbye or at least make some sort of gesture that he loved me. If he'd loved me he wouldn't have killed him in front of me he wouldn't have beaten me in drunken brawls or shouted till the police came round. Kyle was my one and only so i stayed.

Honestly Kyle's care for me was the only reason I hadn't run away. He put a roof over my head and taken me to school he was the one who had stayed with me night after night because of my nightmares. I could remember constantly his twisted face and biking bloody eyes after the shot. And then then blood which fountained from his stomach. I sat on my bed hating myself for helping a man still not fairly convicted of a murder he committed. At the moment he was in jail for theft and drug laundering even though he was my dad the guilt of his death and what I had done to help wouldn't go until he faced the consequences of he actions. I was eleven.


	6. Chapter 6

The bolts on the cell clanged as they were slid back and their door swung open. A tall dark figure stood in the door way. His skin was rough and weather worn his hair grey and white sprouting unevenly on his face; he was in handcuffs. He shuffled into the light room his head high and confident yet wary.

He sat down opposite a young man similar to him in face except instead of wearing a green polyester shirt he wore a clean blue and white chequered that was rolled up to reveal tanned forearms. His face had been buried in his hands, his elbows resting on the table until he had heard the door creak open upon which he looked up with a start before colleting himself with a deep breath in. He watched patiently as the older man was helped by a guard into his seat. The guards left and the two were left sternly eyeing each other up and down until one of them spoke.

'I'm surprised Darryl. When they said a Mr Braxton had come to see me…'

'You were expecting Heath.'

He nodded in reply and silence again stilled the air. The other man shifted in his seat as if trying to sit comfortably but the other man's eyes were fixed on his and he knew comfort in this situation would be impossible.

'Why have you come?' he questioned raising his eyebrows.

'Heath's told me everything; I'm just here to tell you that nothing's going to change nothing is going to happen.'

'What do you mean, Darryl?' The man's eyes began to harden.

Brax folded his hands putting his mouth to them and then speaking. 'I don't know what Heaths promised but it's not happening.'

'I don't think you have the right to tear a father from his son Darryl.' He paused waiting for a reaction but Brax's eyes heavy and serious just stared blankly back as if unaffected. 'If Heath wants to get to know his father again he has every right '

Brax coughed a slight laugh. 'Every right, is that a joke? Then suddenly angry 'You lost all your rights to us when you left and took Joss with you.'

'Joss whats this got to do with her?' A slight disgust and confusion was evident in Danny's voice.

'It has everything to do with her and everything to do with us.'

Brax was distressed moving in his chair until he had collected himself to look his father squarely in the face again and then coldly controlled continued 'You destroyed our family. Mums a gambling addict heaths a dealer and Casey well he's trying to do the right thing and I've tried to do the right thing by him but none of us can do that because we have your past and your mates hanging over our heads.'

'Well I'm sorry you feel that way Darryl.' His face however was unchanged as lacked any concern or real sympathy.

'Really? After all this time? Now you say you're sorry.'

'I am. Heath believes me I'm sure Casey would.' The two men's determination was clearly something they had in common.

'Casey, you are getting to know Casey again over my dead body.' Brax was getting frustrated at not being in control here. He had always been the one to protect his brothers but his father was someone he hadn't had to deal with in over ten years. His concerned face yet emotionless voice again revealed the unctuous personality he had grown to hate and fear.

'That can be arranged Darryl. You've grown too self-important. Your stupid no brained brothers might listen to you but I sure as hell won't.'

Brax sat in quiet reflection clenching his fists the anger boiling inside of him. Coldly he whispered not looking at his father but at the dented metal table. 'Don't call me that.'

'You can't tell me what to do.' said Danny confidently.

'No, but I can tell Heath and right now he's your only way out.' Brax exclaimed though a sudden realisation.

'No he's not he's just the one I chose.' said Danny still eyeing Brax coolly as if the two were on perfectly friendly terms.

'Why, because he's your son? Or because he offered you an easy way out?'

'Because he's my son.'

'Do you even know the meaning of the word?'

The pair began to show each other up in quick fire.

'Yes, I do and I want to get to know my children again.'

'All of them?'

'Yes.' The confidence jumped off his words.

'Joss as well?' Brax through a rock in the conversation.

Danny sat back in his chair running his hands through his uneasily because they were cuffed together hair. He looked at Brax and laughed.

'If I knew where she was yes, if you like.'

Brax's eyes welled. He nodded knowing he shouldn't have expected anything else. He wished now that he hadn't come but he needed the satisfaction of knowing this was not his fault. 'If you knew. Is she dead? Do you even know?'

'No, I don't know where she is.' Danny seemed to take pleasure in his son's grief. He only watched while Brax chocked on this information, as his eyes went read and he swallowed his words. After letting his news take its toll on its listener he continued 'she's safe though.'

Brax's face turned from white to red in an instant. He shot up out of his chair and kicked it with an echo of metal around the bare room.

'I left her with someone, a family member so don't worry she's good.'

Brax faced the wall as he took in the information and charging back to the table wrestled his dad to his feet and shook him with his fist at every word he spat into his smug grimacing face.

'You let me the boys think that she was dead. You made me think that it was my fault. You kept her from us for ten years you bastard.' Danny forced his hand around braces wrist and pried it off his shirt. Brax pulled away and headed or the door.

'Where are you going Darryl?' Danny shouted behind his son with satisfaction. Brax stopped in his tracks. He couldn't let him win.

'I can't take anymore.'

'Darryl don't you walk away from me'

'Why not you did'

Danny needed the last word. 'I will come back to you and the boys whether Heath pays the bail or not'

'No you won't. You will not hurt them again.'

Brax slammed the door behind him. He needed the old man out of his head and out of his life. He could still hear his fathers gruff shouts as he made his way though the station and out into the bay. 'I will be in charge of that decision. See you soon Darryl.'

He was greeted the startled faces of the summer bay police force. They seemed shocked by how quickly their conversation had escalated. But he couldn't care less. The last ten minutes had changed his life. Joss was alive. Even if his dad didn't know where he would find her he would.


	7. Chapter 7

Kyle had already left when I woke up. I stumbled out of my bedroom into the brightly lit front room which was our living room/dining room/kitchen. It had a chocolaty brown carpet that I hated and cream walls. The furniture was all rented and its ugly red stitched clashed horribly with the rest of the colour scheme making the whole room look like a grotesque strawberry chocolate desert. We couldn't do anything about it, it's all dad had left us with.

I wasn't worried that Kyle wasn't there when I awoke. To be honest I barely saw him. Yesterday was just a one off job and I knew he was worried about me when we had to do them together so he preferred to work alone. I had no objections to him doing them alone but he didn't used to realise how worried I was about him when he went out especially without the boys or Mac.

I walked into the kitchen half dressed; I had my trackies on and a strappy top. I didn't need to look great today my sweats would do. I pulled a slice of bread out of the bread binand hurriedly shoved it into the toaster and pushed down the lever. I ran to the bathroom to wash up. I splashed cold water and soap over my face and put on my makeup. It was a Thursday but I had too much on my mind to bother with school. I slipped on my hoodie and pumps and upon hearing the toaster pop I grabbed the toast. I put my pumps and rucksack on at the same time bending down awkwardly so my bag wouldn't fall off my back and with a piece of toast in my mouth and my key in hand opened the door and left the flat.

As I made my way down the streets of Melbourne I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. It seemed to me so silly to feel excited about missing school but I honestly did. School for me meant being told what to do, being asked questions all the time and teachers watching your every move. I want exactly the best behaved kid in school but my treatment wasn't my fault it was Kyle's. Having a disruptive year 11 drop out as your older brother did no create the best impression of me to my teachers and now having him as my guardian and my dad in prison meant they were never off my back about work and whether I was ok at home.

They were always surprised when I said I was fine. What was I supposed to say, the truth? To them the definition of a broken home would be one like my brother doesn't help me with my homework and my dad's absence stops me sleeping at night. I mean come on they probably wouldn't even no what to say if I told them the reality of my situation; I think my family redefined the meaning of a broken home. Why would I talk to school about it anyway? If they got involved it could potentially mean that Kyle could be arrested along with numerous friends and I could be put into foster care; that would be a worse living arrangement than I had at the moment.

I walked quickly through the crowded streets I didn't want to be late. I was walking for about 20 minutes until I reached my destination. I jumped over the wall behind the paper shop and turning the corner the familiar smell of cologne and cigarette smoke tickled my nose. They guys were there Matt Jimmy Tyler. There were a few guys probably some of there other friends that I didn't recognise but regardless I was welcomed with the usual sound of approval. I walked over to Tyler who taking his cigarette out if his mouth opened his arms to hug me.

I was embraced by the overwhelming stench of aftershave but I didn't mind, after six years you get used to it. Tyler was Mac's younger brother. They were kind of like family friends and they often spent the night at our place. Their dad got locked up along with ours so I guess I spent so much time with them because they were in the same position as we were.

I sat down on the wall with the rest of the group.

One of Jimmy's mate, Alex I think his name was, kept looking at me. At first I thought we had just coincidently caught each others eye but the second time he smiled at me. He was good looking with dusty blond hair and a tanned completion my type. His smile was so goofy and cute that I couldn't help but give in and smile back. Neither of us were that engrossed with the conversation the rest if ten were having about cars or whatever so when his moved his head in the direction of the alley I agreed getting up and walking with him.

We stopped awkwardly giggling at Jimmy's impression of gangster in his new xbox game. He spoke first.

'I've seen you with Jimmy a lot. Are you guys close?'

'Yes.' I said grateful that didn't have to be the one to start a conversation. ' we've known each other for about six years; our dads were mates. How do you know him?'

'I just moved here. Started at the schools last week.'

'Kingston?'

'Yer. It's a shit hole though.'

I couldn't help myself from laughing but then I stopped myself feeling awkward that I had just made the most unattractive sound in the world. But he jus laughed with me as I blushed.

'What.' He laughed

'Nothing.' I protested but he looked at me as if unbelieving with his gorgeous brown eyes and I couldn't help but justify myself. 'Its just you've only been there a week and you've already discovered it's potential as school.'

He laughed again. 'Your a laugh joss.'

I blushed again thanking god I had foundation on in the hope he wouldn't notice.

'You're not so bad yourself. Where you from anyway.'

'Mangrove river.'

My heart did a little flip in my chest at the name.

'Did you know a family called braxton?'

'Why?'

'Just wondering.' I hoped I hadn't given too much away in the speed at which I asked him the question but before he had time to answer Jimmy ran round the corner holding up his phone.

We hadn't noticed the others stop talking but I could tell by the look on Jimmy's face that what he was about to tell me was not good.

'What is? Jimmy!' I questioned him forcefully. He swallowed hard.

'Its Kyle.'

'What about Kyle? Jimmy what's happened spit it out.' I charged forward snatching his phone from his hand and reading the text conversation on his screen; it was from Mac.

Joss wiv u ?

Yes

Kyle in a bad way come quick.

My heart exploded in my chest and I stood stock still absorbing the news.

'Joss?' Jimmy was looking at me. 'Ill take you back come on.'

He pulled my had and looked at me in the eyes. His look reassured me that he would be there but I couldn't stop the tears soak my face as we began to run back.

I knew that when Mac meant come quick she meant home. If Kyle was hurt the hospital would ask too many questions so she would take him home but this worried me even more. If he was stabbed or shot and bleeding the hospital was the best place for him but he couldn't risk it.

Jimmy and I reached the door after about ten minutes of running through the streets.

I couldn't bring myself to opened it and burst into tears but putting a comforting arm around me and opening the door with the other Jimmy took control of the situation. He led me into the flat his arm still around my shoulders. When I saw the blood I was nearly sick and grabbed at Jimmy for the strength to stand. He walked me over to the sofa where Mac was leaning over some one.

I could barely recognise my brother. He was deathly pale, bloody and covered in sweat. I could see the stab wound in his stomach where his shirt had been rolled up. Mac was desperately trying to stop the bleeding by putting pressure on it with a towel but every time she did Kyle let out a moan of agony. I shuffled along the floor to his head and talking his bloody hand in mine squeezed it. The fact that I was crying and shaking probably didn't reassure him at all but after I had taken a few breaths and my grasp on reality had been restored I pulled myself together and turned to Mac.

'What do you need?'

'It's fine.' Called Jimmy from the other room retuning with a first aid kit.

'You'll need more than that!' I shouted at him in panic and running off I came back with a needle thread and a bottle of detol. I had been in this situation before. I can remember explicitly once when I was thirteen Joe, Kyle's mate, bringing him home wounded. It was late and I'd been sitting up for him watching the TV when I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it I saw Joe covered in blood. It took me a while to realise whose blood it was because Kyle was being supported and he was standing barely conscious leaning on Joe's shoulder.

He had staggered all the way home, running most of it because he was being chased by the cops, but all I could think about, seeing him on the sofa deathly pale and drenched in blood and sweat, was whether I would lose him. It came close to it. If Joe and Mac hadn't been able to get the bullet out and patch him up he would have been taken away from me either by the police or death.

All I was able to do in that moment was sit by him lying of the sofa and holding his hand. I couldn't bring myself to speak or help. That was the first time I had seen a gunshot wound but it certainly wasn't my last. After that night I understood why he used to be so protective of me.

Mac pushed me aside and taking the needle and thread got to work. I buried my head in his shoulder still clutching his hand squeezing it trying to comfort him. But I didn't tell him words of false hope. The reality was that it didn't look good and I wasn't going to be the one to tell him everything was going to be ok and lie to his face.

This was so horrible. Kyle was always so strong for me that seeing him like this killed me inside. He was the only one that was there for me seeing him like this it was like the positions were reversed and it felt unnatural. He was supposed to take care of me not the other way around. I suppose we took care of each other but still it broke my heart to see him so weak. After about half an hour of stitching, Mac's head looked up at me and Kyle.

I was crying into his shirt holding one of his hands in mine and his other around me. Even when he stabbed and bleeding out he still worried about me. He was awake just but his eyes lazy with the pain were focused on mine and I watched them close as he lost consciousness.


End file.
